Revenge is Sweet
by jiminy-crickety
Summary: Sawyer reflects on Charlie's death and wonders if the rockstar has had the last laugh.


Revenge is Sweet

It seems like most of my life I've been looking for revenge. I always figured I'd get it by killing the people who hurt me, sending them straight to the hell they deserve. But maybe, all these years, I've been wrong…

My first murder was a mistake. A dumbass mistake that almost made me feel worse than the grievance it was supposed to settle. Ah well, I guess remorse don't suit me much, because just recently I've managed two revenge killings in the same week. Do I feel any better for them? Hell no. Mostly I just feel sick.

But ever since Charlie got himself drowned down in that underwater station, I've been thinking…maybe the best kind of revenge isn't in killing. Maybe the best revenge comes from dying for your cause.

All Charlie ever wanted from us was some attention and respect. He was always yammering and foot-stamping, trying to make his voice heard. He was always the runt of the litter, the bottom of the pile, the little pissant who got talked down to, yelled at, shoved around and ignored most of the time.

Well, you've got our attention now, haven't you Charlie.

Nobody in this camp can sleep at night since that boy went off to sacrifice his young life for a bunch of people who never gave a damn about him. I can see it in all their faces. They know it deep down. They remember the time they all turned their backs and left him bleeding in the surf. They're aware of how they stood around in silence, raising no objections, when our heroic leader ordered him off on a suicide mission. Now they force tears into their eyes, pretending they saw the good in him all along and wishing they could've saved him.

But these people didn't know Charlie like I did. They never saw how vengeful the kid could be. They never knew about those reckless acts he could be tempted into just to savour his sweet revenge. Assault, thieving, deception…hell, even I was surprised at how far I could push that little English boy. He wasn't conspiring with me because he wanted his drugs back. He did it just to make Johnny Locke feel like a fool. Yup, that was Charlie's style of revenge. He would do whatever it took to make a person feel low and wretched and wrong…

Kudos Charlie. You've made fools out of all of us.

Right now I don't think anyone's feeling more foolish than that crazy Scotsman who saw Charlie's death coming and led him straight into it. Now he's sitting there with his head in his hands, wondering how he could have messed up so bad. We've heard about his visions now, the future he couldn't prevent. It seems to me like he tried to make a bargain with fate. Maybe he thought he could hand Charlie over and buy his own salvation. You shouldn't make deals with destiny, Brother Desmond. Fate will always screw you in the end. The funny thing is when you were saving Charlie's life you were holding all the aces. You were stopping fate from having its way. You had a shot at taking on the universe and winning, partner. Instead you just threw down your hand. He dies and you lose. We all lose.

Speaking of losers, Missy Claire sure is looking sorry for herself these days. Like the song says '_you don't know what you got till it's gone'_. I'll bet her memories of all the things Charlie did for her are screaming against her thoughts of all that she never did for him. Poor lonesome Miss Littleton. You used to be the camp's angel until Charlie stole your halo. Who would have thought it? From now on he'll be the one who's pure and holy and so far beyond your reproach.

_Ah_, I can't muster much sympathy for these inconstant mourners. If I do a quick count I reckon there are only two people here who loved Charlie without conditions – Hugo and the baby. Which isn't to say old Staypuff gets to feel any better than the rest of us. Poor guy thinks it was his fault. He's got it into his fool head that he's a living curse and his buddy Charlie is its latest victim.

Little Aaron just wails like the world's come to end. His squeals are drilling a hole in my head. I'm thinking about going over and whispering to him softly in my southern drawl. Anything to get the brat to quiet down. But I don't want to be reminded of that day when me and Charlie sat inside my tent, stopping the baby's tears by reading him articles from magazines. I don't want to think about how that was one of the sweetest moments of my sorry life. You're not pulling me into this, Charlie. I know your game. I know how you snatched your sweetness all away and left us with the bitter pill of your death. Yeah Charlie…revenge _is _sweet.

Well, here's to you, my old partner in crime. I gotta admit you were smarter than I thought. You've really done a number on us, kiddo. Funny how I nicknamed you 'Jiminy Cricket'. Now you really _are_ the conscience sitting on all our shoulders. They're saying that you sacrificed your life to save us, so why does it feel more like you've doomed us all with your death? We know what we are now. We're prisoners of fate. And you're free as the wind, you little bastard. I'll bet you're laughing up in heaven while we stew down here in purgatory.

When we pulled our con together I figured that I was the master and you were the pupil. But you've taught me a new trick in revenge, Charlie. It's a method that suits me well. I've been wanting to die for a long time now. You've shown me a way I can escape this stinking world and get my payback in the same stroke. I'll be keeping that card up my sleeve and looking for a time to play it.

I've gotta get me a hero's death. It's the only thing that's ever gonna satisfy. You were always holding out for the hero, weren't you Freckles? Well, I can give you a hero that'll haunt you till the end of your days. Then you won't pity me anymore, will you sweet cheeks? _Then_ you'll love me...

I'll see you on the other side, Charlie.


End file.
